Winner:
"I am programmed to love you."
submitted by: Erin Rose Foley

click here to check out the others.

"Need some help with your backswing?"
submitted by: Matt DeCoster

Megan's Law
submitted by: Jackie

Dahmer
submitted by: Jack

Funky
submitted by: Gil

How about one for the good ear?
submitted by: Neil Casey

Daddy!
submitted by: Birch

Just pick a set of keys from the bowl.
submitted by: Appel

Nah-uh. I'm not telling what I got you.
submitted by: Rob Lathan

Just bursting through your door to borrow a cup of sugar and tell you I ran over your son. Ta!
submitted by: Dave [qnarf]

Too late, my friend, I've already stuck it up my butt AND rotated upon it.
submitted by: Sean Taylor

Absolutely!
submitted by: Michelle D

I use the swiffer.
submitted by: Shannon Patricia O'Neill

"why yes, I do wear bugle boy jeans."
submitted by: out of touch kevhines

Hey baby, wanna wrestle?
submitted by: Tara Quinn

You rang.
submitted by: tom epstein

After
submitted by: tony

Would you like to hear about our appetizer specials?
submitted by: Buster

your daughter would be plenty, ma'am.
submitted by: ptolemy

Les jeux sont faits.
submitted by: Jenmac

My penis is caught in a door right now!
submitted by: Gethard

My penis is caught in a door right now!
submitted by: Gethard

Come on, let me in the house little girl.
submitted by: Baer

Chlamidia is not a flower,
submitted by: tom epstein

Okay, I've got a story. Just get under the covers. Great. Now, this is one about a little girl who was your age exactly.
submitted by: Julie Klausner

The secret is basil!
submitted by: Baer

Help! My smile is crashing!!
submitted by: B.J.

I'm involved in an online business with explosive growth potential!
submitted by: qnarf

Give me back me pot o' gold!
submitted by: daly

Come to me. Cover me. Hold me. Together, we'll break these chains of love.
submitted by: dunford

These smile buttresses are really painful
submitted by: Matt DeCoster

I'm not wearing any pants!
submitted by: Baer

Check out www.jakefogelnest.com
submitted by: Jake Fogelnest

"I have to put on a suit and slick my hair back after this."
submitted by: Friedman

Bruce Springsteen bores the living shit out of me!
submitted by: Buster

My name is Matt, but the curl on my forehead is named Mona!
submitted by: Julie Brister

Get into my car.
submitted by: Charlie

"Hail Hitler."
submitted by: Ben Rodgers

Jake Fogelnest
submitted by: You know how you never saw the neighbor's face on "Home Improvement?" That was in my first polish.

"Tonight, there is no Mrs. DeCoster"
submitted by: Bernie

. . . and Vidal Sassoon can help you too!"
submitted by: Jim Kramer

Thanks for helping me out of that garbage can.
submitted by: Tara Quinn

Matthew is thrilled to reprise his role as Roger in the fourth national tour of "Rent."
submitted by: Danielle

Three-button polo. Colors: navy, aubergine, mocha, ecru, brick, midnight (shown here).
submitted by: mrs esposito

I will EAT YOUR SOUL!!!
submitted by: Ken Burmeister

Mmmmm, Fudge!
submitted by: Benorbeen

Just come back to my place for coffee and we'll just see what happens.
submitted by: pete olson

Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean & reverent
submitted by: Ken Burmeister

Hi. My name is Matt. I just moved in next door and boy do i love babysitting!
submitted by: Berrebbi

I'm you sex ed teacher Mr. Decoster, but you can call me Matt. Now, lets talk about your bodies, but first does anyone get high?
submitted by: Berrebbi

i really enjoyed the cat that raps in the paula abdul video.
submitted by: justin lang

I am the new Roy
submitted by: Billy

Make one move for the door and I'll cut your fucking balls off.
submitted by: Appel

Does Willem Dafoe have eyes like these?
submitted by: Zach Tabacco

bravely coping
submitted by: qnarf

Pedophile? That's a mighty big word for a 9-year old!
submitted by: dunford

And now that you've uncovered my hideous secret, I'm afraid I can't let you leave...
submitted by: Ken Burmeister

Good...'cause I don't think my ass could handle another sweet roll.
submitted by: Jeff S.

Matt DeCoster: Fucking your girlfriend since 1989
submitted by: Andy Rocco

"AVELOX has controlled my genital herpes flare ups and it can do the same for you!"
submitted by: Berrebbi

I can hear a mouse pissin' on a cottonball with these babies...
submitted by: Ken Burmeister

Tell me your dreams. Your most secret... desires.
submitted by: Dan Kois

point to the doll and show us where the man touched you, Timmy
submitted by: mister

Hobbits always so polite, yes. O nice Hobbits, O yes my precious, very nice
submitted by: O-Town

You think I'm bluffing? then call me...
submitted by: JoeyCatz

Matt Decoster and the Matt DeCoster Orchestra: Swingin Hits for Swingin Couples
submitted by: JoeyCatz

"I'm on a trapeze, I'm on a trapeze..."
submitted by: JoeyCatz

knife goes in, guts come out.
submitted by: qnarf

Your blood tastes extra spicy tonight
submitted by: Baer

I'm the greatest individual I have ever met!
submitted by: tom epstein

AAAGHR! Fire Bad!!!
submitted by: Dan McInerney

00110100 01000001 01010000
submitted by: Ken Burmeister

Levitra
submitted by: LeMar (General) McLean

This girl thinks I'm coming over tonight, but I'd rather be with you.
submitted by: Diana

I'll give you a hint: It rhymes with "Spamway".
submitted by: Fretty McNervous

"Shh, You Don't Want Me to Have to Hurt Mommy, do you? I would never do anything to hurt my mommy. "
submitted by: Guillermo Sinclair

I can do the trapeze!
submitted by: Pete Bosniak (miss me?)

"When I'm not selling foriegn luxury autos, I enjoy a Rheingold in the jacuzzi and Tesh."
submitted by: Tess

I've been compared to people like Hemingway and Spielberg...now come give me a handjob.
submitted by: zuber

hi, this is the dekester on k107, the cat, and you're listening as we count down the top 10 smooth jazz hits of the 90s.
submitted by: qnarf

I'm lovely. All I am is lovely.
submitted by: Jen

I'm as serious as a heart attack Jack...
submitted by: Ken Burmeister

Just call me Snowball
submitted by: mike